


suffer this with me

by icoulddothisallday, TetrodotoxinB



Series: cued to you [7]
Category: Captain America (Movies), Marvel Cinematic Universe
Genre: Bingo Square: Massages, Clint Barton Is a Good Bro, D/s AU, Deaf Clint Barton, Gen, Insecure Steve Rogers, Massage, Mild subdrop, Non-Sexual Intimacy, Platonic Relationships, Sub Clint Barton, Sub Steve Rogers
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-12-19
Updated: 2017-12-19
Packaged: 2019-02-17 04:28:35
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,251
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13069152
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/icoulddothisallday/pseuds/icoulddothisallday, https://archiveofourown.org/users/TetrodotoxinB/pseuds/TetrodotoxinB
Summary: Sometimes, you just need someone you can trust.Part of a greater D/s AU. Stand alone.





	suffer this with me

**Author's Note:**

> See end for glossary of terms. 
> 
> Beta'd by the wonderful [farkenshnoffingottom](http://archiveofourown.org/users/farkenshnoffingottom/pseuds/farkenshnoffingottom)  
>  who took extra time to help us with this. Thank you!

Clint and Steve trudge back to their quarters as soon as they hit the helicarrier. Their mission directives had apparently been completed to Fury’s expectations, and their only debrief instructions were to write up reports and please take a shower ASAP. Nat, on the other hand, had been immediately dragged away for some super-secret conference with only Hill, Coulson, and Fury.

The mission had been a long one, dragging out over a couple of days, and leaving everyone a little a tired and short with each other. Steve feels restless and itchy in his skin, and what he really wants to do is head to the gym and hit the bag until he can’t feel anything anymore, but Nat and Phil had left them with strict orders not to go off on their own, hoping that each others’ company would keep them each from dropping too hard. Steve glances at Clint, trying not to appear obvious about it.

Clint’s neg-six, too low for most armed forces, but SHIELD tends to operate under different rules, as evidenced by Steve’s continued employment there, despite his own DCI. Steve’s seen Clint get droppy after missions a couple of times, but Nat usually sweeps him away before too long. Plus Steve usually has to report to Phil after missions, regardless of whether he’s dropping or not.

Today is the first time they’ll actually be spending any time together while they’re dropping. It’s the first time Steve’s ever really spent with another sub during drop. He bites at his lip, suddenly worried. Maybe he really is fucked up and useless when he’s down — the way he’s always suspected it is. He wouldn’t know because Bucky and Phil are — were — either too kind or too professional to say one way or the other.

Nevertheless, they end up in Clint and Nat’s quarters. Steve’s room is closer to the landing bay, and it makes sense to stop there, gather Steve’s change of clothes, and make their way to Clint’s rather than walking all the way to Clint’s and then doubling back. Steve prefers it there, anyway. There’s lots of evidence that Clint lives there, and if you look long enough and hard enough, you can see Nat in the collection of tchotkes on the shelves, or in the half-finished Russian novel lying on a bedside table.

They take turns in the shower and then wedge their not-inconsequential frames onto the full bed that Nat had requisitioned for her and Clint’s shared quarters. It feels strangely intimate, and it’s closer than Steve’s really been to Clint before. He shifts uncomfortably on the bed, feeling the springs creak underneath him, and watches Clint snag his tablet. Clint had popped out his hearing aids before he’d gotten in the shower, and he mutes the tablet so as not to disturb Steve. Restless, Steve cracks open his book. It’s hard to get himself to focus.

The air in the room is charged with feeling of subs in distress. They’re both hyperconscious of each other, eyes flicking back and forth and movements stilted so they don’t accidentally touch each other. Clint probably just wants Nat there, and Steve out of his space. Steve can’t really argue; he wants Phil, even though that’s still an awkward, professional thing.

Steve tries to turn his focus back to his book, but every time Clint shifts he loses his place. After about the fifth time in as many minutes, Steve lets himself watch. Clint is slowly slumping to the right, and after a minute he straightens himself up again with a small grimace. He hadn’t said anything about an injury after extraction, but then Steve knows from experience that sometimes you’d prefer suffer through the pain rather than suffer through going to medical. Still, he can’t deny his worry.

He closes his book quietly and shifts slightly, getting Clint’s attention.

“You alright? You’re looking a bit uncomfortable,” he signs. Learning ASL for Clint has proved a helpful challenge. Quiet, restless moments can be filled with practicing. It feels a little bit like service, just enough to ease something in him, even though he knows that’s weird and would make Clint uncomfortable.

Clint shrugs with his left side, and Steve tucks the thoughts away. “Just my shoulder. I fell on it a few weeks ago and it gets sore any time I use my bow a lot.”

Steve nods. Then, grinning, he signs, “So all the time then?”

Clint smirks and then shrugs again. “Basically.”

Steve thinks for a moment about not offering. It’s weird, overly intimate, and Steve doesn’t want to make Clint uncomfortable.  But he can remember days before Bucky was his dom, when they were still _just friends_ , when Steve’s whole body would ache and without a word Bucky would rub away the tension. After Steve started dropping, that touch became even more important. Even without anything else, it was enough to settle him back in his skin until he could actually go down.

Steve bites his lip, considering. Clint catches him at it and signs a “What?” eyebrows lifting in question.

“Do you - uh. Do you want a massage?” Steve rubs the back of his neck awkwardly, whole body going tense. He should have just waited for Nat to come back and take care of Clint. Clint doesn’t want some poor substitute for his dom.

But as soon as Steve offers, Clint grins like an idiot and strips off his shirt in no time flat, flopping onto his stomach casually. Steve laughs, relieved. It’s not like Clint can hear him, but maybe he can feel it vibrate through the bed frame. Steve thinks for a minute and then moves, sitting on top of Clint’s upper thighs.

It’s a little too close, a little too intimate — just like Steve had anticipated. But drop-addled and shaky from several days without going down, it’s exactly what he needs. In some ways, it’s better than what he’s going to get with Phil later. Steve will get to sit by Phil’s feet and Phil will stroke his hair and read to him, maybe tell him he did a good job, and Steve really, _really_ wants that. But he misses touching and being touched, just in some way that’s friendly and kind.

And the massage is service, too, settling Steve in his skin and centering his headspace. It’s enough that he feels his drop abate as the hormones that he’s been running short on start to enter his bloodstream and draw him down towards subspace. It’s embarrassing, that he’s started to slip into subspace, just from this, and he’s glad Clint can’t see him. Still, it’s not embarrassing enough to stop.

He digs his thumbs into the muscles of Clint’s trapezius and Clint practically melts into the mattress with a groan. Steve can’t help but smile, pleased with the response. He’s glad that Clint is even letting him do this. They still don’t know each other well, and Steve often feels awkward with the other sub. But regardless of what Steve feels towards Clint, Clint obviously trusts him. Steve has friends that he can help. He has important things to do. He even has a dom of sorts. And maybe Clint doesn’t think Steve’s weird. Maybe it can be okay to have a friend who’s a sub, maybe it’s okay to let himself go in front of trusted people. _Trusted people —_ having that makes Steve feel a little more like he might belong in this time and place after all.

**Author's Note:**

> DCI: Dynamic Classification Index, a number that describes how frequently someone has to go into headspace  
> Neg-six: Subs have negative DCI numbers. This is colloquially shortened to neg-#. Numbers runs from 1 - 9, the higher the number the more frequently the person has to go into headspace.


End file.
